God, Grace, & So Much More

I wasn't quite sure what to title this blog, but God's been speaking a lot to me, and definitely doing a lot in me, and with the new school year having started, I figured it was time to write a new blog. So here goes...

Looking back on this summer, it's crazy to be out on "the other side" of all the difficulties, challenges, and victories I went through, and to see now why God allowed to happen what happened, and to see the drastic changes He did in me. I know one of the biggest things He did in me was teach me to be more dependent on Him. I know how easy it can be to become dependent ourselves, another person, or the world--many of us are financially stable, have both our parents, and are pretty well off. Know my heart when I say this, but some of us don't "need" God.

Crazy thing is... we do need Him. No matter how blessed, provided for, wealthy, taken care of, we are, we need Him. Everything isn't always going to be okay, and some day, we very easily could lose everything to our name: our family, our house, our possessions, our wealth, and so on. We need Him. And despite His not needing us, He wants us. Crazy, eh?

God's been showing me lately what it means to be in a relationship with Him. What it truly means. I read in a workbook called "Expericing God," that "Our relationship with God doesn't come from a quiet time with Him, but our quiet time with God comes from a relationship with Him." I didn't quite understand that until tonight... I spent some quiet time with God, in worship and in prayer, and you know what? I haven't had a decent "quiet time" in weeks--but when I took the time to spend some time with Him, He was faithful to be there. I spent time with Him because I knew that we had that kind of relationship. God doesn't come to us with an agenda, a set of rules, an expectation-- "Well, you have to read your Bible every day, and you need to pray for at least 60 minutes every night..."-- no. God's not like that. He loves us and appreciates any time He can get with us. And since He's always with us, well, aren't we always spending time with Him? Think about it. When you spend time with your brother or sister, for instance, you aren't always doing the same thing. Sometimes you watch TV, sometimes you go out for dinner, sometimes you play catch, whatever--you're not always doing the same thing, and it's not that way with God either. Sometimes you're praying, sometimes you're reading your Word, sometimes you're praying for someone, sometimes you're simply watching TV--and God's right there with you.

So let this be a challenge for you. Spend time with God--bring Him into everything that you do: sports, work, school, homework (yes, it is possible), working out... He's always there. And if you happen to not read your Bible one night, or spend time in prayer, don't beat yourself up. God doesn't. He doesn't put pressure or condemnation on us, so why should we?

We Say That We Want It, But Why Don't Our Actions Reflect It?

Something that just hit me pretty recently (actually like 5 minutes ago), was the realization about myself that in my prayer time, I'll pray, "Lord, I want to know You more, I want to be pure, holy, and I want all that I do to reflect You..." and so on, yet when I have free time to be in the Word, to pray, to simply open myself up to experience Him, rather than do any of those things, I do "useless" things like go on Facebook, text, or other stuff that probably isn't very worthwhile. This kind of reminds me what I wrote about in my last blog about the inward battle we experience: doing things we don't want to do and not doing the things that we want to do.

Some may say that being in the Word, prayer, experiencing God comes by discipline. Some may say it comes by discipline alone. But if we lived our lives, if we based our relationship with God off of solely discipline, then it wouldn't be much of a relationship, would it? It's so much more than that. Yeah, discipline's good, and important... but even more than that, I pray that I'd get into the Word, spend my free time in prayer, opening myself up to experiencing Him in all that I do, out of a love for Him. It definitely seems weird to pray that: "Lord, I want to want You..." but it's a legitimate prayer. We can't love God without God.

The fortunate thing is that even though we're not perfect, God's grace covers us, and He sees us as if we are. And that's the thing that's hard for most if not all of us to understand. We need to see ourselves as He does, see the world as He does... and that's when things will start changing around us.

A Divided Heart

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." -- Romans 7:15-20

Something that I've really been noticing lately is the reality that we have almost two different sides to us--one side, which wants to do what's right, and God's will, and the part that knows God, and the other side that almost seems like a completely different person. It's the part of us that leads us to think things we don't want to think, do things we don't want to do, and takes control of our emotions. I know in my own life it's led to much frustration--an incident occurs that makes me mad, or depressed, or triggers me in some way, and I get mad that my heart's even going in that direction. What's crazy is how it's almost like you can't help it... and that's where God comes in. That's where we have to leave it up to the Holy Spirit to correct us, guide us, and lead us in all truth. We've got to let His love take control of every facet of who we are. And personally, I think this is one of the hardest things to deal with in the Christian walk. Learning to speak out in faith what isn't, learning to give God praise and still have joy even when your life is crumbling before you. It's definitely not a mindset we're used to in this day and age. Most people, and correct me if I'm wrong, but they give into their pain. If they feel sick, what do they do? "Yeah, I'm sick," and they embrace it as a part of themselves. When in reality, that's never been God's will for us. His will has never been for us to be sick, depressed, angry, or in sin.

So I pose a challenge for you... next time you're feeling down, you just messed up, or things just aren't going your way, give praise to God; He's still good and worthy of praise. Doesn't matter the circumstances. And realize the truth... His truth. Even if you just messed up, if you've repented, move on. God does. You are renewed, restored, and made whole. Crazy, eh? Well, it's a process, and one we may never fully get down while we're on this earth. But give it a shot. I guarantee you if you really put your heart into it, God'll come through. He's always faithful to do so.

Weakness = Strength

By the title of this blog, you're probably thinking, "What?! This guy's crazy. How is weakness the same as strength?" Well... it does. When it comes to God, it's the very essence of His grace.

"Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NLT

Make a little more sense now? I know for myself, the whole concept of grace completely messes me up. The fact that no matter how "righteous" we are, we're never more deserving of God's grace than when we were in the midst of our sin and rebelling against God. Weird concept, eh? No matter what you do, you can't earn God's grace. His grace gives you strength in your weakness... and allows Him to reveal His strength and His glory to not only you, but those around you. When your life's going to Hell and you're not giving up, holding on strong and giving Him praise, people around you are going to be wondering, "What's this guy's/girl's deal? Their life's going down the toilet and they're happy? What's going on here?" I'm not saying that you have to be happy all the time, at least not directly. We were made to worship God, to give Him praise. Technically speaking, we're all found guilty--we have no reason to not worship Him. Worshiping Him comes out of the overflow of His love in your heart. It's interesting how this all ties in together, huh? So for now, just ponder over His grace. We'll probably never fully understand it while we're here on this earth, but it doesn't mean we don't have to try. God's always there for us to give us answers, to draw us closer to Him. So what are you waiting for?

To You Alone Lord, Do I Pray

Don't know what's going on
The world is spinning around me
Feeling like I've lost control
Nothing seems to astound me

Those close now seem far away
All I've got left to do is pray
I need to find a way
A way back home, I can't go astray

As hard as it is to get by
I'm not going to sit around and cry
For my God is worthy of all praise
Through the good and bad, the worst days

God, you are so good, so faithful
You never leave my side
No matter what I go through or what troubles I face
I pray that You would take me into Your embrace

Take me Lord, take me in
I want to know You more, much more
I'll put myself aside, my fears, my desires
Fill me with Your Spirit, Lord
Fill me anew and refresh my soul

Continue to be with me, Lord
Don't leave me or forsake me
You comfort me in all pain and anguish
You fight for me when I've got nothing left

I thank You, Lord, for this day
I thank You, Lord that I'm still going the right way
Don't let me be led astray
To You alone Lord, do I pray

Knocked Down & Brought Up

This past week has been literally crazy... and don't worry. I say that in a completely good context. After all, sometimes it takes things getting crazy to bring out the worst in us, so that we can deal with that part of us, and be set back to where God wants us to be.

It's funny how we think that we don't deal with something, we think we're good in that area of our lives, and then we get completely knocked down from that place. Everything we thought we once had gets taken from us, we get humbled, and only in that place of humility are we rebuilt into something even greater. Think about Hurricane Katrina, and all the homes that were destroyed. The storm came through and wiped out millions of houses. In the years since the hurricane as New Orleans has been working towards recovery, would it be reasonable for them to rebuild their homes the same way as they were before? Definitely not. They're going to build them even better, make them stronger, make them tougher.

I've been in a place where I thought I was fine in certain areas of my life. It wasn't until trials came along, and the enemy brought up my past, that I started realizing some things were wrong. Was being in this place wrong? No, not necessarily. I wasn't seeking to do what God had asked me not to do. Simply put, my eyes weren't open to the things set before me. I praise God that He finally revealed them to me, they got dealt with (with the help of some awesome, godly men in my life), and now I'm in an even better place than I was before. I can tell you one thing; I feel even more free now than I did even a week ago. I'm so thankful that God allowed certain trials to befall me in the sense that I got to grow from them, and now I'm an even stronger man of God than I was before. And that's how our relationship with Him works. Ain't that awesome? I definitely think so.

So for now, be challenged. Continually pursue the things of God, and ask Him what areas of your life need work in. Because I can guarantee you, until the day the Lord comes back to take us home, you're always going to have something to work on. You're always going to have to depend on Him, but what's so good about that is that the reward is so worth it in the end. Dependence is not a bad thing. Not when it brings you to a deeper place, a holier place, and ultimately, when it draws you closer to Him.

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hopes does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." -- Romans 5:3-5

A Broken World

I think the more I go through life, the more I get out and see the people of this world, the more I realize how broken people really are. The crazy thing is that while some of us may be turned off and annoyed with peoples' obnoxious behavior, deep down it all comes out of being broken. And God is weeping over every, single one of them. He loves them so much, just as much as He loves those that do know Him and pursue Him with everything that they have. Talk about crazy love, eh? I'm sure if most of us (I can say this for myself) were in God's place, there'd be a lot more people without hope, and there'd be no way they'd be going to Heaven. So it's definitely good that God's the one in control.

I know that God wants to see my school on fire for Him. In fact, I'm proclaiming it right now: This school is going to be set on fire for God. Every last person is going to know Him, is going to see His glory, going to see Him move in mighty ways. God's waiting for breakthrough, waiting for those that do know Him to reach out and do something for Him. God's always ready... He's been ready. So it all comes down to us, those that do know Him. What are we going to do? Are we going to sit, kick back, and relax, knowing that we're going to spend a great eternity with God while many around us are headed towards eternal separation from God? That's definitely not God's heart, and that shouldn't be ours. It's time we step out in faith, step out and reach people whether actually going and talking to them or praying for them. There's power in prayer, and it's the least we can do for those that are broken. It's time. It's time we see this generation saved; it's time to unleash the power of God on this broken world.