Let's Celebrate!

I don't know about you, but I love reminiscing. It's fun to see where I've come from, and how much I have changed over the past several years. The growth has been tremendous, and I'm forever grateful to God for putting me in a place (literally) where that could happen.

In preparation for my family's big move as well as me going to college in the fall, I've been going through all of my stuff--keepsake boxes, books, closet, etc. As I was going through my stuff I found a few letters that I had written--they're more like journal entries I guess--revealing a lot of who I used to be and what my outlook on life used to be.

Gary Conachan four years ago was very self-conscious. Very timid, shy, wasn't very confident in who he was, and wasn't living the life that he was meant to live. Although I might have looked happy on the outside, deep down there was an ache and a hunger for something more--something to bring true fulfillment. Unfortunately I didn't realize the significance of a relationship with God until about two and a half years ago. That's when God became very real to me--since then, my relationship with Him has been progressive. Always moving forward, always things happening.

Looking at who I am today, I am confident in who I am, truly happy with who I am and who God made me to be, and I'm living in freedom for the first time in my life. For the longest time I lived a life of guilt, condemnation, low self-esteem--and all of that is gone. God has truly taken a broken man, a sinner--and restored me to new life. I am now living the life that I know God intended me to live all along, and it's great.

Do I still fall? Sure I do. Nobody's perfect. We still go through rough patches. But what's different about me now as compared to four years ago is I get back up. I keep on fighting, trusting in God and staying strong. I know who I am: I am a son of the Most High God, and I am defined by what I've overcome, not by what I've done. And I know that that is truly who I was meant to be all along--and the same goes for you too.

God wants so much more for us than we allow ourselves. He wants us to have that joy, to have that freedom, to live the life that we were meant to live. Living the life that God intended me to live is much better than anything else the world has to offer. Anyone saying that they don't need God is really missing out. Sure, everything may be fine in your life, but are you truly happy? And you truly satisfied with where you're going in life, and what you're living for?

If you haven't given God a chance, or if you've merely given Him a thought but second-guessed yourself, all I can say is: Give Him a shot. You won't regret your decision, and tremendous things will happen in your life. Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). If He's transformed so many other people's lives before you, why wouldn't He want to transform yours as well?

It's up to you; the decision is yours. But all I can do is testify to His goodness, and the impact that He's had on my life; the same impact that He can have on yours.

I Refuse

There's a great song I've been hearing on K-Love a lot recently, and I ended up buying the song on iTunes last night. Here are the lyrics:

Sometimes I, I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not
This world needs God, but it's easier to stand and watch
I could pray a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse

I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
But I refuse

I can hear the least of these, crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet of You, Oh God
So if You say move, it's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who You are

[chorus]

I refuse to stand and watch the weary and lost cry out for help
I refuse to try and turn my back and act like all is well
I refuse to stay unchanged, to wait another day to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse

[chorus]


I love the lyrics to this song, because not only have these desires rung true in my own life lately, but I think it's an anthem that rings true for this generation. We want purpose. We want to do something with our lives. We're sick and tired of letting life pass us by and not doing anything.

I know for me personally, I want to be one of those people who "change the world." As cliche as that may sound, it's true. One person can make a difference, and my hope is that this generation would get out there, find their purpose, and start doing something. No more sitting around and waiting for someone else to make a change. It's time for us to get up, get out there, and go change our world.

Great Expectations.

I've come to realize something significant lately. And that's how God doesn't have any expectations of us--and please know my heart when I say that. Sure, God calls us to a standard and has desires to see us succeed, but I don't think He comes to us and says, "Gary, you need to do this, and that, and this... and if you don't, then you fail." More than anything He loves us, and whether we screw up or not, He could care less.

We were made to succeed.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

I know in my own life, I have always struggled with expectations--I put expectations on myself that are so high that there is no way I can meet them. And since I don't meet those expectations, unreasonable or not, I fail. I set myself up to fail. It's almost as if in my mind, I make myself God and say, "Gary, you need to do this, and that, and this..." It essentially becomes idolatry.

When are we going to get to the point we we tell ourselves, "I am good enough. God says I'm good enough, and that is enough. I don't have to work for my salvation, for love, for acceptance, for whatever--God's already given me everything, and I can't earn any of it"? There's a reason that they say salvation, joy, peace, and so on, are gifts from God. He gave them to us. If God says we're enough and that we are complete, then why don't we believe in Him? Why is it that we take other's words for who they say we are, but ignore what God says about us?

It's amazing, isn't it? This is the human struggle. Every day is a struggle, every day is a fight. The enemy's out to win over our soul, but God's even stronger. It's time that we find ourselves complete in God. It's time we quit suffocating ourselves with false expectations, and time for us to focus on God and God alone.


"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26, NIV).

Prophecies Come to Pass

The more I've been thinking about it lately, the more I have come to realize how serious God is when He makes promises. Or prophecies. Or whatever you may want to call them. Here is a little testimony of how this rings true in my own life.

Last summer, I took part in the summer internship at my church, which was a great experience. It was a season of my life where God drew me closer to Him, and I really saw Him build me up and strengthen me for what was to come. Or in other words, for senior year. Looking back on that season in my life, I'm glad He did that. Cause I don't know if I could have made it otherwise.

There came a point where He gave me a few promises/prophecies:

1. During this school year, God would reveal His love through people and situations. That I would grow closer with those who are already there, but also that new friendships would arise.

2. The winter would be a very difficult time for me. But that if I held onto Him, His word, and those He'd surrounded me with, I would be just fine.

3. A revolution is coming. Many are going to be saved at my school, and find God.

The first prophecy has come to pass. I've grown a lot closer to a lot of people I didn't think I would have even six months ago. My friendships with others have developed, and I've made a lot (and I mean a lot) of new friends too. This has been a huge blessing in my life, simply by the fact that God is revealing His love to me through other people, and using others to work through my heart and make me more complete.

The second prophecy has also come to pass. The past few months have been some of the hardest months I have ever gone through. I can definitely say that they have been some of the darkest months I have seen in a very long time. But God's been faithful as He said He would be, and He's carried me through these times. He's allowed me to be broken so that I could be made whole, and even better than I have ever been before. And it's true. Even today, I feel that I have come a very long way from where I was even a few months ago. I've grown tremendously, and it's been yet another blessing to see God move so much in my life.

The third prophecy has yet to pass, but I have faith that it will. Are there doubts? Sure there are. Sometimes I look at the situation with a practical mindset and think to myself, God, how in the world are You going to work this out? But He will. He's made everything work out thus far, so I can stand firm in my faith, knowing that His will will come to pass.

I am ready. Me and many others are ready. There's an army of men and women of God rising up at my school, in my city, in the Tri-Cities. I'm ready for whatever God may have for me, for others, and for His glory. I'm excited for what's to come, and I'm forever blessed and humbled that God would use someone as inadequate and broken as I for His kingdom and His glory. Here it comes. The rainstorm is coming, and you better be sure to grab your umbrellas.


Okay... so that last part was a little corny. But you get my point. :)

To Hell & Back

I'm not going to lie... the past couple of weeks of my life have been pretty crazy. And I'm not just talking about the busyness of my life. I'm talking spiritually and emotionally.

I've been in a place where I've let the enemy beat me up. I don't even bother trying to fight back. I just sit there and take the punches. Let him beat me to a pulp. Clearly, in our walk with Christ, there's a lot more to it than just sitting and getting beaten up.

It took prayer during lunch today for things to start realigning. Getting back to how they should be. I'm beginning to get back into that place where I have victory, where I walk in that victory, and I'm beginning to see God move in my life again. I love being in this place.

It's amazing how we can hold onto pain, to grief, to emotions, and make them a part of who we are. Even though it hurts, and we don't like being in that place, it's almost as if we do like to be in that place. We try to justify our ignorance and rebellion against God. "My father died, so I have a reason to be depressed," some of us might say. It's true that our feelings are valid, and in many instances, it's not wrong to feel the way we do. But as we grow in maturity and grow closer to Christ, we get more responsibility. Is this to be a burden? Nope. Jesus says in Matthew 11:30 that His "burden is light" and His "yoke is easy." It's such a joy to carry the calling that God's put on our life. When we sit around and do nothing about it, and make His promises the least of our priorities, things may go well for a while, but they won't go well forever. We start getting depressed, angry, frustrated, hurting others, and the list goes on and on. Romans 2:4 says that it's God's goodness--the very being of who He is--which leads us to repentance. It's time we begin to walk in that place of repentance daily--emotions, worries, and everything else set aside. If life was a bunch of ups and downs, no moving forward, and being depressed all the time despite knowing that He is Lord, then we wouldn't have much to live for. It's when our knowing that He is God overrules everything else, that's when we truly live. I once heard it said on a TV show that "Surviving isn't fighting. Thriving is fighting." We're not meant to merely survive, and to get by in life. We're meant to thrive. To grow. To see God move. To see the world changed by Him.

This is what we live for.

This... is what we love for.

Flip Side, Two Sides - A Change in Perspective

FIRST PERSPECTIVE: THE HUMAN PERSPECTIVE.

Ryan comes home from a rough day at school. He's exhausted, both mentally and physically. The kids in his English class would not quit making fun of him for his belief in God. In math class, his best friend ditched him as his partner to be with a group of popular kids, and as so many other friends had left him, he felt even more rejected. Even more lonely. With his father in prison, and his mom who-knew-where (for she'd abandoned him and his sister after their father got arrested for first-degree murder), he felt like there was no one left. No one cared. He walks into his room, and sees his Bible on the dresser beside his bed. He picks it up, flips through it, but immediately shakes his head and puts it back down. He wants to give up on God, give up on believing. Everything is falling apart; his grades are slacking, he lost his job for poor performance, and even his sister is out partying all the time, going through boyfriend after boyfriend. There's no hope left. There's no way God could bring good out of any of this. Ryan doesn't understand why God would let this all happen. Surely He didn't love him; after all, why would an all-loving God allow such horrible things to happen? Ryan sits on his bed, and pulls out a rifle from underneath his bed. He considers taking his own life, and after a few thoughts, he makes his final decision.

SECOND PERSPECTIVE: GOD'S PERSPECTIVE.

God loves Ryan. He is His son, and He wants the best for him. He knows everything that's going to happen; He knew it all along. He knew that his dad would go to prison, that his mom would leave, his sister would try to find love and affirmation in relationships, and that Ryan would lose every friend he had. He knew how hurt Ryan would be, how broken he would be, but he wasn't worried about it. Although God knew all the bad things that would befall Ryan, He also knew all the good things. He knew that Ryan had a future. He had called Ryan when he was 16 years old to be a youth pastor; to reach out to those that had been through what he had. To help the needy. The lost. The broken. He had called him to start a ministry that would spread throughout the entire United States, becoming one of the largest ministries anyone had ever known. He was reaching out to Ryan. Trying to talk to him, get his attention. He loved him more than anyone on earth ever could. He was desperate for him, wanted to talk to him. To spend time with him. To love him and affirm him. But Ryan wasn't listening. He was too caught up in his pain, his hurts, his brokenness. God knew that if Ryan allowed Him to, He could fix his heart. Bring healing. Restore his family. Bring friends that would support him in his spiritual walk. God saw the future. And had confidence. He knew what would become of Ryan; the man of God that he would become. God just kept calling his name... and calling... and calling... and calling...

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Ryan had made his decision. He put the rifle down. Back under his bed. Something had clicked inside of him. He heard this small voice, calling his name. "God?" he asked. "Could that really be you?" He soon realized that it wasn't about him. It wasn't about his pain, his hurt, where he'd come from. God could bring healing. God could restore his family. And that was all that mattered. God was in control, and nothing was too big for Him to handle. "God," Ryan prayed. "I'm sorry for giving up on You. You deserve so much more. I want to give my life to You; to fulfill what You've called me to do, no matter what happens. I'm giving my life to You. I may stumble, but I'll get right back up, because You're worth it. You're worth it..." And with that, Ryan got up, left his room, and called his sister. "Hey Megan," he said. "There's something really important I want to talk to you about. Can you come home so we can talk?" And with that, Ryan's mission began. It was time for God to bring restoration to his family, to his friends, to everyone around him. No matter what it took... he was going to fulfill the call that God had given him.

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Ryan would become one of the most well-known pastors in the United States. His ministry grew to 50,000 people by the time he turned 25. His dad had come to accept Christ as his Lord and Savior, his mom finally returned home, and his sister quit trying to find affirmation and security in relationships. His mom and sister also came to know Christ, and many of the kids he'd known in high school came to know Christ as well. God surrounded him with people who would encourage him, and restoration, healing, and freedom was brought to his family. And to thousands more. God wasn't surprised; He'd seen this coming. After all... He was in control. And always would be.

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It's amazing how much God's perspective varies from ours. As we go throughout our daily lives, we usually only look at what's in front of us--what we see, what makes sense, the circumstances we are in, etc. But when it comes to God, He doesn't see things that way. When He sees a homeless man on the street, He thinks, "I love that guy so much; I want to give him a home; see him with hope again." And He could very well make that happen. Why does He let it happen? Well, He could very well ask us the same question. Why do we let it happen? God wants to use us. He doesn't have to; He doesn't need us. But He wants us. He wants to use us to accomplish His plan; not only will it strengthen our faith, but it'll strengthen the faith of others as well. Others will see His love through us. After all, that's what it's all about. God makes Himself known through love, through His creation, through miracles. What are we doing sitting around, letting life pass us by? Sure, we may have a great future, and a great eternity--but not everyone does. Let's make a difference in the world. Let's give God a shot, and see Him move. It's about way more than just us. It's about God, and it's about others. Seeing His love and power in our every day life. No matter what comes our way, no matter how horrible things may seem, He's bigger. He's stronger, He's in control. And with confidence in that promise, we can move on. Move forward. Move forward to the future He has for us... for our time on this earth, and for eternity.

Past and Future

Recently, I got to thinking. Thinking about my dad. For those of you that may not know, he passed away about a year and a half ago in a car accident. I thought of what things were like around that time; the hole that was torn out of my heart, the hole that was torn out of my family--things were never to be the same again. And they haven't. Then I got to thinking, "How have I made it this far? Why am I okay, when I shouldn't be okay?" The answer: God. Without Him, I wouldn't be okay. I'm afraid to know where I would be without Him. He's brought so much healing to me, to my mom, to my brother, to my family--it can't even be explained. It's amazing how far He can take you, when you allow Him to. I've also been reminded lately of God as our lover. Granted, that does sound weird. But it's true. God wants nothing more than to be intimate with us. He wants to love us, bless us, and He wants nothing more than the best for us. More than our parents, more than our best friends. How crazy is that thought--many of us having parents and friends that really care for us, so this thought is definitely mind-boggling. The fact that God loves us more is certainly a crazy thought, and it's something we shouldn't forget. We should never forget how He loves us.

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is." -- Ephesians 3:18

I never told you how that "week" went. All I can say is... it was great. Great because I got to see God move in mighty ways. He opened so many doors for me to talk to people, to encourage them, and to simply be there for them. I won't lie to you... it was hard. There was a lot of sacrifice being made, and I didn't think I was going to be able to endure it. Denying yourself of what you want most is definitely difficult. But by God's grace, I made it. Doors were opened, and He moved mightily. I'm forever grateful for the opportunity that I had, and that He drew me closer to Him. I knew then that it wouldn't stop after the week was over; it's continual, it's always going. With everything I have, everything I've got, no matter how difficult things get, I'm going to give God my everything. Because He's worth it. He's worth every minute, every thought, every sacrifice. And I am comforted, knowing that He's there for me. He loves me and blesses me, and He can do the same for anyone else. If He can do it for someone who's worthless, who's got nothing going for them on their own, He can do it for anyone. And He does do it for everyone. He loves every single one of you, and wants the best for you. May you constantly be reminded of His love for you, and allow it to work in and through you... He's so worth it. So, so very worth it.

"For God so loved YOU that He gave His One and Only Son that whomever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." -- John 3:16